Tristan & Julia

Welcome, everyone.

If you can find a seat and get settled — we are just about ready to get started.

Before we begin, I want to ask one thing of you. We are doing this ceremony unplugged today. That means phones away, cameras down. I know that's a big ask in 2026. We have photographers here to capture all the moments, and we don't want any of these photos to have someone sticking their hand up in the middle of it ruining the shot!

So do them that favor. Be here. Fully here. The ceremony will start shortly.

Processional

Please all rise for the bride.

cueWait. Let her get all the way down. Do not rush this.

Giving away

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

(Matt: “Her mother and I do.” He hugs Julia, hands her to Tristan, sits down.)

cueDon't comment on it. Let it sit.

Thank you. You may be seated.

cueWait for everyone to actually settle.

Greet them

Well Tristan and Julia — here you are. It's happening! Are you ready for this?!

beat

Honor the people who built this day

Now — before we begin, I want to take a moment to honor some people.

A wedding like this doesn't happen by accident. It happens because people who love Julia and Tristan gave their time, their energy, their creativity, and their resources to make this day what it is.

I want to specifically call out Uncle Matt and Auntie Jodi — who poured themselves into making this day happen. And we just want to say thank you!

I want to honor Grandma and Grandpa — thank you for all the work you two have put into this.

And to everyone else who helped set up, who drove hours or flew to be here, who said yes every time Julia or Tristan needed something — thank you, on behalf of Tristan and Julia and everyone else here.

pause

Opening prayer

Alright. Let's get this thing started. And let's start this off with a prayer! Would you please join me as I lead us in a prayer:

I have to be upfront with you guys about something.

This is the first wedding I've ever officiated.

pause for the reaction

My name is Brendan and I am Julia's cousin — favorite cousin, if I might add. A few months ago she asked if I would be willing to do this and I said yes immediately, because I love her and was honored. And then I thought about it and said shoot — I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

beat

So if this goes sideways — she picked me.

cueLet the laugh land, then settle into warmth.

A few weeks ago I was able to jump on a call with Julia and Tristan and hear a bit about their story, and I loved it! And I want to spend a few minutes just telling you who they are — because some of you know one side of this story, and some of you know the other, and I want everyone in this room to know both.

They actually went to the same school for a period of time.

Tristan was in eighth grade. Julia was in sixth. Same hallways. Same building. And they had absolutely no idea who the other one was.

beat

They would not meet for another decade.

Tristan would join the Army, spend four years serving, come home, spend six months learning to be a cowboy — which is a real thing that actually happened and I genuinely wish we had more time to get into it — and eventually end up working at his uncle's diesel shop in a small town in Oregon called Fossil. Population 430. Nearest Walmart: an hour and a half away.

Julia would go through her own journey. Work, nursing school prereqs, a Christian missionary school called a DTS — and spent time figuring out who she was and what she wanted.

And then somehow — out of all of it — they found each other.

Two people who walked the same hallways as kids, went their completely separate ways for ten years, and still ended up right here.

I don't think that's an accident.

The first date

So let's talk about the first date.

Tristan showed up with flowers.

Now — he had never brought a girl flowers before in his life. He'll tell you that. It's just not something he'd done.

And Julia — she didn't tell him this, hadn't mentioned it to anyone — had quietly prayed something like this.

Lord, if someone brings me flowers on a first date, I'll take that as a sign.

He didn't know that. He just showed up with flowers for some reason.

Julia noticed.

cueLet that sit.

They went to the Napavine Diner. Tristan ordered a chili burger.

pause

Yes, I said that right. On a first date. A chili burger.

I don't know what to do with that, but I respect it enormously.

cueGet the laugh, then continue.

After dinner they drove around a little. Ended up at the Lucky Eagle Casino — because there's not a lot to do in that part of Washington at 8pm on a Saturday — and Tristan had never been to a casino in his life. First time ever. Sat down at a machine he'd seen on TikTok. Won three hundred dollars.

beat

First time at a casino. Three hundred dollars. Julia's thinking — this is exactly how they get you. And she's not wrong. But it made for a pretty unforgettable first date.

The garage sale

Next morning. Breakfast at the diner again. And then Julia mentioned her family was having a garage sale — a fundraiser to help her brother Charlie get to DTS. And Tristan stopped by.

Nobody asked him to stay. Nobody handed him a job. He just started helping. Took things off hangers. Helped break everything down at the end of the day.

Julia's mom, Jody, noticed.

She didn't make a big deal of it. But she noticed. And that's usually how it works, right? You don't announce your character. You just live it. And the people who love the person you're with — they're watching. They see it.

Uncle Jeremy

And then there's Uncle Jeremy.

cueShift your tone — still warm, but more sincere.

Julia told me something about this that I just loved. She said there have been guys in her past who met Jeremy and just didn't know what to do with him. They'd get awkward. They'd talk down to him. They'd kind of look past him. And for Julia — who loves Jeremy the way this whole family loves Jeremy — that was always a window into someone's character.

When Tristan met Jeremy, he just loved him. Like anybody else. Teased him. He pretended to find Uncle Jeremy's wallet at the garage sale and tried buying it from him. Tristan took him seriously. Made him feel completely normal. Just — Jeremy, good to meet you, let's be friends.

Julia said that's when she really knew.

Not the flowers. Not the casino. Not the chili burger.

Uncle Jeremy.

pause

That's the kind of man we're talking about.

That first Christmas

But I want to tell you something about Julia too. Because Tristan told me a story that I think says just as much about her.

Their first Christmas together, Julia went out of her way to make it really special for him. Thought about every gift. Put real intention behind every single one.

And Tristan told me — it wasn't about the gifts themselves. It was that she had been paying attention. She had listened to things he'd mentioned in passing about Christmas and his past experiences with the holiday — things most people would have let go right by — and she did something about it. Without being asked. Without making a production of it or a huge deal. It was meaningful and impactful and thoughtful.

beat

That is Julia.

She feels things deeply. She pays attention. She notices what people need and she just does something about it. Tristan said she has a compassion for people that he has genuinely never seen before. She'll come home from a shift caring for elderly patients — people she just met that day — and she's moved to tears by their stories.

That is not something you learn. That is a heart God gave you.

And it is the same heart that is going to make her an incredible wife.

pause

So what we have here — and I want you to see this clearly — is two people whose instinct, independently, before they ever met each other, was already to give.

He gives without being asked. She gives without needing to be noticed.

That is not a coincidence. That is a foundation.

Now I could keep going. I have more stories. But I want to pause here and name something.

Everything I just told you — the flowers, the garage sale, Jeremy, that Christmas — none of it was a grand gesture. None of it was a performance. They were just being themselves.

And what they kept seeing in each other, over and over, in these small moments, was the same thing.

This person cares. And this person GIVES.

Without being asked. Without keeping score. Without needing recognition for it.

That is not a small thing. In fact, I think it is the whole thing when it comes to marriage.

I want to take you back to the very beginning for a second.

Not the beginning of Tristan and Julia's story. The actual beginning.

Genesis 2 — the second chapter of the entire Bible. Before governments. Before nations. Before any law or culture or tradition that human beings have ever built. God has just created the first man and the first woman. And after he brings them together, he says something that becomes the foundation for everything that follows.

In plain terms — marriage is not something human beings invented and can reinvent whenever it's convenient. It was God's idea from the very beginning. Before religion. Before civilization. Before any of the systems we've built and torn down over thousands of years.

It's the first thing God ever established. And what he said it was — two people becoming one — is still what it is today.

That's what's happening right here. Right now. In front of all of us.

And here's the thing about becoming one. You can't do it while you're holding part of yourself back.

Which brings me to a verse that means something very specific to this couple. It's the most well-known verse in the Bible. You've probably heard it so many times you can say it before I finish the sentence.

John 3:16. This is Jesus, explaining in one sentence the entire reason he came.

I want to slow that down. Because there's one word in that sentence that I think Tristan and Julia have made real progress in learning — and a lot of couples don't figure it out until they've been married twenty years, or things have already fallen apart.

That word is gave.

Not loaned. Not offered on condition. Not held in reserve until the world proved it was worth it.

Gave.

The whole Christian story is a giving story. God didn't protect himself. He didn't keep his options open. He gave everything, without any guarantee of getting anything back — because that's what love does when it's real.

And marriage, when it works — when it holds together through the hard seasons and the years that look nothing like the first date — is a giving story too.

It starts to fall apart the moment both people start asking what am I getting out of this? instead of what can I give?

Now I want to be honest with you. Because there are people in these seats who know marriage is hard. Some of you have lived it. Some of you are in the middle of it right now. Some of you have watched it fall apart in people you love.

So I'm not going to stand up here and make marriage sound easy. It isn't.

But here's what I keep thinking about. We're sending these two into a world that's already made up its mind about commitment. And what that world says is — protect yourself first. Don't give too much too soon. And when it gets hard, go find something easier.

That's done an enormous amount of damage. You can see it in the statistics. You can see it in people you love. Most of us have felt it pull at our own lives.

What Tristan and Julia are doing today says the opposite.

It says the strongest thing two people can do is give themselves away completely. To one person. Before God. In front of witnesses. Not when it's easy. Not when it's convenient. Not once it's been earned.

Always.

So what you're watching today isn't just a wedding.

You're watching two people go against the crowd. It's an act of cultural defiance!

cuePause — let that land.

And it's a beautiful thing to see.

Now speak to them directly

Now let me speak to both of you directly. Because the Bible doesn't just tell us what marriage is — it gives each of you something specific to bring into it.

Paul is writing to the early church in Ephesians, teaching them what it looks like to love the way God intended. And before he says a single word to husbands or to wives, he lays down the ground rule for both of them.

That comes first. Both of you. Both directions. Both people putting the other one ahead of themselves.

Then he gets specific. To wives, he says:

Now that word makes people squirm. I understand why. It's been used badly.

But this isn't a verse about Julia being less than Tristan. Paul isn't telling her to be small. He isn't telling her to be quiet. He isn't telling her to be anything other than exactly who she is.

He's asking her to trust him. To lean in. To bring every bit of her strength and her wisdom into this marriage and stand next to him instead of across from him — the same way she trusts God with her life.

cueTurn to Julia.

Julia — Tristan told me you're one of the most mature people he's ever been around. That you have drive; you're going to be a nurse and you're doing the hard work to get there. That you have a compassion for people that moves you to tears. That you make him feel known in a way he hadn't experienced before.

All of that is what you're being asked to give him. Not held back. Not kept in reserve. All of it.

That's not weakness. That's you handing him everything you've got.

And then to husbands:

There's that word again. Gave.

cueTurn to Tristan.

Tristan — she's being asked to trust you. You're being asked to lay your life down for her.

To go first. To serve first. To love first, even when it costs you something. Especially when it costs you something.

The model Paul hands you is Christ himself, who loved not because it was easy or deserved, but because he'd committed to it. Julia is that commitment to you now — to love, to sacrifice for, to give your life for.

That's no small call.

Two people. Both giving. Both all in.

You'll hear people say marriage is 50/50. It's not.

50/50 only works when everything is easy. The second things get hard, 50/50 means two people standing there waiting for the other one to go first.

It's 100/100.

Both of you all in, all the time — whether or not the other one is holding up their end that day. Because there will be years where Julia carries more. And years where Tristan carries more. And if you're keeping score, you both lose.

The question for the rest of your lives isn't whether you're capable of that. You've already seen the evidence. The question is whether you'll keep choosing it.

That choice — made daily, in the background, without applause — is what makes a marriage last.

I want to tell you a little bit about how both of these people got here. Not just to this altar — but to this faith. Because it didn't come easy for either of them.

Tristan grew up going to church. Wednesday night youth group, the whole thing. And then high school hit, and like a lot of us, he drifted. He never stopped believing. He just stepped away.

And then he joined the Army.

Basic training is hard in ways that are difficult to put into words. The first few weeks are designed to break you down. And in the middle of that, they handed out these little pocket Bibles.

Tristan picked his up.

He said he didn't even know where to start. He just knew one verse. The one everybody knows. John 3:16. So he started there and read the entire book of John.

And somewhere in those pages, in the middle of one of the hardest seasons of his life, something shifted. The way he saw people changed. The way he saw himself changed. He came back — not to a religion, but to a relationship.

pause

The verse that found him in basic training is the verse anchoring this ceremony today.

That is not a coincidence.

Julia's road

Julia's road looked different, but it led to the same place.

She'll tell you herself — there was a season where she felt genuinely hopeless. Where she was doing things her own way and it wasn't working. She went through DTS and did the kind of hard interior work that most people spend their whole lives avoiding. She looked honestly at who she was, what she wanted, and what she needed to let go of.

And she came out the other side a different person — one still in continual work and progress, but heading in the right direction.

Not fixed — redeemed. That's her word. And it is exactly the right one. Because redemption isn't about getting cleaned up. It's about being made new. It's about God taking what was broken and doing something with it that you never could have done yourself.

Julia knows what that feels like. Tristan knows what that feels like. I — and so many sitting here — know what that feels like.

Not perfect people. Just people submitted and surrendered to a redeeming God.

beat

These two didn't just find each other.

They both found their way back to Jesus first. Independently. In completely different seasons, in completely different places. Not perfect people — just people knowing their need for a redeemer savior. They both let Jesus do the hard work on their own souls — and then, out of all of it, God brought them together.

I don't think that's luck.

I think that is exactly what it looks like when a God who GIVES is writing a story.

cuePause — let it breathe.

Before Tristan and Julia say their vows, there's one more thing they wanted to do. They wanted to take communion.

And if you didn't grow up in church, that word might not mean much to you. That's totally fine. Let me just tell you what it is.

The night before Jesus went to the cross to pay the ultimate price to sin — which was death — he had dinner with his closest friends. He knew what was coming, and he wanted to leave them with something they wouldn't forget.

So he picked up bread, broke it, and said — this is my body, given for you.

Then he picked up a cup of wine and said — this is my blood, poured out for you. Do this and remember me.

That's all it is. Bread and a juice that remind us of the sacrifice Jesus made on our behalf, so that we can have relationship with a real and alive heavenly Father.

The cross is a reminder that we have a God who says “I will go first” for us — and that is what love, true love, life-changing love really looks like.

Christians have been doing it for two thousand years. Not because it's a rule. Because we don't want to forget.

And that's exactly why these two wanted it here today.

They didn't want to just talk about giving on their wedding day. They wanted to start their marriage remembering the one who did it first.

Set up what's about to happen

So here's what's happening for the next few moments.

Tristan and Julia are going to step over here together. There's bread and a cup of juice waiting for them. They'll take it, they'll pray, and that's it. Just the two of them.

And while they do, our musicians are going to play a song called “Highs and Lows.” It's about a God who doesn't leave, no matter what season you're in. Which feels about right for day one — because there will be highs, and there will be lows, but the giving doesn't stop for either season.

While the music plays, don't check your phone. Don't lean over and start a conversation.

Just pray for them. Pray blessings upon them in this new season.

When the song ends, they'll come back over and we'll wrap this thing up.

cueStep back. Nod to the musicians. Say nothing else until the music ends.

cueWhen the music ends, hold a moment of silence before you speak.

Prayer over them

cueMove into vows.

Vows

Tristan and Julia have asked me to lead them through their vows. I'm going to ask each of them to repeat after me, a few words at a time.

Tristan — I'm going to start with you.

Tristan's vows

cueSpeak each line, pause, let him repeat.

Julia's vows

cueTurn to Julia. Same pacing.

The I do's

That was beautiful. What you just did was make a promise to each other, in front of the people you love as witnesses, and before the Lord.

I have one more question for both of you. And if you agree with the commitment, please confirm by saying “I do.”

Tristan — do you take Julia to be your wife? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?

(I do.)

Julia — do you take Tristan to be your husband? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?

(I do.)

pause

The pronouncement

Two imperfect people. Both giving everything they've got. In front of God and all of us.

Genesis said the two become one. That's what just happened right here.

You two have become one.

cueMOVE TO THE SIDE.

So by the authority given to me, and with every person out here behind you — it is my honor to pronounce you husband and wife.

Tristan.

You may now kiss your bride!

let them have it

Introducing for the first time — Tristan and Julia Ellison!